NFL Week 10!

Well once again, I’ve been had. Denver somehow pulled together to score points for the first time in what seems like a month (oh wait, it HAS been a month) and got the win over a Cleveland team that I’m officially done with. There, I said it. In my two “sexy” preseason picks, I’m done with one, and losing faith in the other. (New Orleans) It’s week 10 and it’s a short column this week because my folks are making the trek up from London and there’s so much to do before they get there. (Not so much for myself, but you get to the point where you don’t want to hear your Mom complain anymore about the state of your room) With that in mind, here’s an uber short version of the weekly NFL column. Home teams in CAPS like usual.

LIONS (+6) vs Jaguars

Jags continue to stink it up against garbage teams this week while Detroit is close to giving Calvin Johnson the Key to the City.

Titans (-3) vs BEARS

Undefeated Titans coming to town + Rex Grossman starting + Lovie Smith still recovering from Obama Chicago party on Tuesday night = I’m not going near the Bears this week.

PATRIOTS (-3.5) vs Bills

New England takes back the AFC East this week. Week 17 will matter though, you heard it here first. Meanwhile, Tom Brady is out of condoms in Bermuda.

Saints (PK) vs FALCONS

This is it for the Saints. They will not let this season die just yet. “The Deuce is Loose” is the comeback phrase of the week. Man, that phrase sounds wrong.

Rams (+8.5) vs JETS

The Rams are better than 2-6. Actually, they’re just better than what happened last week against the Cards. Jets win but Rams keep it close. Brett Favre begins his sentimental MVP campaign this week.

DOLPHINS (-8) vs Seahawks

Dolphins appear to be solid. Seahawks appear to suck huge. Any questions? The Mike Holmgren retirement party can’t begin soon enough. You just know his wife Karen is waiting to tear open that bottle of Shiraz.

Packers (+2.5) vs VIKINGS

Packers have to win this week on the grounds that a Gus Frerotte offence can’t possibly make the playoffs. It just can’t. It won’t! Could be worse though: Scott Bakula could be next on the depth chart. (Note: Jerry Jones is reportedly close to signing Bakula to a $3M contract; Al Davis wishes he’d thought of it first)

Panthers (-8) vs RAIDERS

Carolina has had two weeks to prepare for Oakland. 10-1 odds say they spent it drinking and doing massive amounts of cocaine. Oh, and they still win by 20.

Chiefs (+15) vs CHARGERS

In what world do a 3-5 underachieving team coming off a bye week host a horrible yet “almost beat a good Bucs team” and give 15 points? In the wacky NFL that’s where! SD keeps pace with Denver, but it’s closer than 28-13.

STEELERS (-3) vs Colts

Mega “statement” game by Pittsburgh last week in Washington. They continue against the Colts who had no business winning against New England. While we’re on the subject of the movie Necessary Roughness, how come we live in a world where D.L. Hughley can get a show on CNN and Sinbad can’t even get a spot in a Cialis commercial? Can someone explain this to me???

EAGLES (-3) vs Giants

If the Giants walk into a hostile Philly and win this Sunday night, I’m a believer. To my buddy Ryan (just like the old coach!) this one will be for you. Until then, I have to go with the Eggles at home. This could be the game of the year.

Ravens (-1) vs TEXANS

The game that was SUPPOSED to be on Sunday Night. I’m curious to know if it’s not as much that this game will be worse, than that there’s less places for John Madden to go after the game in Houston as Philly for wings.

CARDINALS (-9.5) vs 49ers

Cards cement their NFC West title this week. Nobody is catching them. In other news, is anyone else out there hoping that the 49ers stink it up this week to the point where new coach Mike Singletary invariably eats one of his players? Would that even surprise anyone??